Dad Jokes

Well, howdy. These are 25 of my finest, all clean enough to tell at Sunday dinner. Groaning is encouraged. Eye-rolling is expected.
— Hank

1. #1 I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
2. #2 Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
3. #3 I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.
4. #4 What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
5. #5 I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
6. #6 Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
7. #7 I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
8. #8 What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
9. #9 How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
10. #10 Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moooon.
11. #11 I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
12. #12 What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow!
13. #13 Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
14. #14 What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
15. #15 I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I just can't put it down.
16. #16 Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? It was a little hoarse.
17. #17 What did the grill say to the steak? Nice to meat you.
18. #18 How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
19. #19 Why do fishermen make good bosses? They know how to reel things in.
20. #20 What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
21. #21 I asked the lumberjack for a joke. He said he'd have to log in first.
22. #22 Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
23. #23 What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
24. #24 Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize.
25. #25 Why did the scarecrow become a motivational speaker? He was outstanding in his field.